So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
