She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
