9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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