I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
