I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
