She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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