I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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