We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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