For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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