Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
