BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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