hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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