My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
