naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
