i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
