You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
