Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
