It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
