you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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