I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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