Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
