one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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