There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
