Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
