Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
