Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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