The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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