the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
