a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
