There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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