your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
oh god the rape fog is back!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
