the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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