You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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