Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
