now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
