yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
