how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
