At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
