I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Success! We fucked roommates!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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