Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
