I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
