So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
