i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
