just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
