The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
