Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
