GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
