i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
