If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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