i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
